BE YOUR OWN GURU. You will need to change your habits and your thoughts/feelings toward energy but you can do it and you already have all the tools you need. You already intuitively know where you can cut things out and save more money. You might need some help mapping your own way and creating an effective budget but intuitively you already know the changes you need to make and if you have google drive you can make an excel sheet for a budget (they already have templates created for you!). I highly recommend creating a budget and sticking to it. Try to see if you can have a partner or pal to have bi-weekly or monthly budget meetings to help keep you accountable. “Excuse me, Why is there a bill here for $397 to a company called Unicorn-Peace-Love-Joy?” Blush. “That was a splurge. I will have to take out some of my budget for next month to help pay for it. Thanks for holding me accountable”. If this accountability partner is your life partner and you share accounts – you may want to proceed with caution and check out Dave Ramsey for some tips on keeping it less fight and more fun. I think wine and scotch always help make a night more fun especially if you can look at it like a date night. My husband and I would often meet at the public library so we were around other people and had to keep it more professional – especially in the beginning when it was not so much fun at first. As we loosened up though better finances the budget nights got to be more fun – and flirty which was excellent and so worth it. Think of budget meetings like date nights and try to add fun to your money talk. Think of your life like a business. Invest in yourself and grow your business, make wise financial choices by thinking long term. I am a huge proponent of the “Plan ahead, Give, Save & Spend” – it is a kind of a mashup between Dave Ramsey and Rich Dad Poor Dad. Pay yourself first with 10% off the top (retirement) the next 10% goes to charity or God (give), then 10% save/debt pay off and the rest (70%) is in a zero based budget-this included your monthly bills and regular spending. Make sure you include treats, and gifts (Birthday, Gifts, Holidays, etc are part of your budget, so if you know your friend has a bday in August plan ahead and budget that in!!) give yourself some free cash to do whatever you want with it and not worry about it so you won’t go over and bounce something in a different category. IExtra Money/Commission, etc. – should go toward Retirement or better yet to PAY OFF YOUR DEBTS> FInancial Freedom and really feeling good about money is all about not being in debt to anyone or anything. It feels AMAZING!!!
WHY GIVE?! You say “I don’t go to church – I won’t do that”. Listen, I hear you this was so hard for me at first too. I could barely pay my bills – how can I GIVE money away. But it is good for the soul. It is the Law of Attraction the more you give the more you receive. You know it = Good Karma. Who should you give to? Like Dogs? How about a rescue group! Like kids? Go to the public school and pay for kids lunch debt! Like Art? Donate a museum! You give some of your money to a charity or your church because money is energy and you share your blessings.. If you help others, You will feel better as a soul and that shifts your energy higher because our ultimate goal in this world is to help others and to be of service. If you really- really can not afford to give your money, give your time- donate it knowing your time is money. At least 3 hours per week. Give money or time just find something that makes your heart feel lighter. Mix it up every month if you want but just get in the habit of giving.
Most of your money should be budgeted. Surivial Mode = Your 4 walls: your home, your utilities, your travel expenses (subway, car, gas etc) and your food – not fancy restaurant food but 3 square meals a day food from the grocery store kind of food. Do not ever skip your rent or mortgage to pay a credit card bill. Do not ever starve yourself to pay a credit card bill. I’ve been there/ done that. It is not worth it. You are important and need to be safe. You will deal with money after you know you have a place, electricity and water to live and food to eat. Your safety and a roof over your head is always more important and takes first priority. You might have to focus on the 4 walls i.e. survival mode from time to time but know it is just a phase. You will be ok. You will get through this and rise higher- it is your divine right! If you have extra money – and are living fairly well please make sure to budget in your fun money. Coffee money. Clothing. Etc. If you are really really tight on finances pull a pointer from Dave Ramsey and pay the 4 walls first. If you are in debt- I would suggest reading his book to learn about zero based budgets and snowballing debts. Or find a book that you like. Pick it up, read it, keep what feels right and toss the rest. I spent years in debt and years reading (or buying and pretending to read) books on finances. I wasted a long time committing to other people’s ideas of how to save, spend and manage my money and while all of them had bits of things that worked for me I was still in debt some 7+ years later. You want to know what made the biggest shift for me? Gratitude and changing my thoughts and feelings toward Money. I first and foremost needed to commit to changing my poor money habits and my poor money relationship by changing how I spoke about money to others. I stopped complaining/ talking about how broke I was or how I couldn’t afford things I wanted. If I wanted something and could not afford it, I would say NOT YET…HOW CAN I afford this vs. I Can not afford this. I also worked on my feelings towards my finances.
When you think of money – what is the first thought or feeling you have?
I feel ____________________________ when I think about money.
Sick – Angry – Tired – Overwhelmed – Depressed
These all used to me my answers- usually with a side of fear, panic and worry.
Until I changed my relationship with money.
Now I feel ____________________________ when I think about money.
Happy – Excited – Motivated – Inspired usually with a side of silliness, fun and magic.
How you feel about money tells us a lot about your relationship with it. A negative attitude=negative balance in your savings account. Money is just energy – Neither good nor bad – it just is. Money is a value we use in an energy exchange. For service, for food, items, supplies etc,. To make and create an item it has been monetized to a value worth the energy used to create that item. It takes a long time to make that bottle of Soda. Plastic. Recipe. Ingredients. Workers at plant. Drivers to get to store. Etc. That is why we have money. That $2.00 soda is $2.00 because energy and time and resources had to be used to create the item.
Art/Energy is harder to monetize. It takes creative heart and soul to make not to mention time. Artists and Healers have a notorious hard time asking for a monetized equivalent for their energy exchange. So for all you crafters out there make a spreadsheet. How many hours X energy spent = it’s dollar worth. And chances are you need to double it because you are not seeing your true worth. We will talk about your worth and value later but let that sink in. Stop giving your time, talent and art away for free! Did you know that Non-profits take any volunteers hours and monetize their time spent to write off on taxes/get grants?
“Independent Sector Releases New Value of Volunteer Time of $25.43 Per Hour. (WASHINGTON, April 11, 2019)” Your TIME is so valuable! Key into that!!! When I started my coaching business I was asking $10-$15 dollars per hour (PS: here is a huge clue as to what I thought I was worth). Until one day I read a report from a non-profit that I volunteered for and realized my time was monetized with them. My time was worth MONEY. I took that value as my future baseline per dollar hour and created huge energetic shifts for myself and my wallet.
And, I want to let you know a secret. Money wants to have your back. Money wants to help you but you have to welcome it in. Money is a flow and it goes where it is wanted, appreciated and welcomed. Think of it like someone knocking on your door. Money is standing on your doorstep. Knocking. You are inside.
*Do you say “ugh” shut off the lights and wait until they leave?
*Do you put out a welcome mat and say come in, pal! The door is always open for you!
or
*Do you say HI- WOW. SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!! …
But forget to open the door?
Honestly, most of us forget to open the door! We see money. We notice it. We say we want it, appreciate it and welcome it but are we forgetting to open the door and let it in?
I know I did.
Until I learned to think of money as an energy. When money was not at all in my life and I spent years begging pleading and getting ticked off that it never showed up I had “UGH” energy all over me. I realized I had to change my relationship with money and I had to open the door to money.
And, HOW do we OPEN that door?
TRUST. Build trust with money. When I say you ARE in a very important relationship with money, I mean it. And, just like any broken relationship that is worthwhile you have to work on it. You can not run away from it. Disown it or “cut it out” like you do with people. You have to put in the work. You have to wine, dine and win money back into your corner. You have to trust Money will be there with a childlike wonder and playful attitude. Money loves kids- have you ever noticed how kids manifest everything they want SO quickly? There is no baggage there. That baby says Hey Universe – I want a pink elephant and poof we see a pink elephant at the next store waiting for us as if by magic. Children don’t have baggage with energy yet so there are no blocks. These are learned traits from us, their parents – which means to make sure your children do not have the same issues you do – you have to fix this relationship NOW! Money loves you so it won’t be that hard once you forgive money for not being there for you, AND apologize for talking bad about it – yes you do! You are complaining about “Rich people” being jerks and all the evil stuff they do with it. You spend a lot of your time hating and judging other people money hangs out with (ie rich people are not bad because of their money – it is NOT money’s fault).
I started off writing an apology letter for money. Feel free to get really personal – this is a HUGE relationship and there is probably a lot of baggage. Get it out. Write it down. Release it. Are you mad, angry, hurt or betrayed? Write it. Explain it. Put your heart out there. Then mail the letter to yourself (yes, waste the stamp!) and really sit down and read the letter; No distractions; Make a sacred space and maybe Light a Candle; Focus on nothing but the letter. And as you read it- feel it. Here is an example of a letter you could write:” Dear Money. I am sorry that I have been so grouchy lately and talking so bad about you! I really want to work on our relationship and make it better. I forgive you for not being around as much as I would like you to be and I understand why now. I haven’t been nice to you either. You really hurt my feelings when I left my job and took that leap of faith to follow my dream and you were not there. I thought you had my back. I was scared and alone without you. It was awful. And, while I see that you always have my back if needed it wasn’t enough and I felt scared and alone. I want the next level in our relationship to happen. I want you to spend time with me all the time, not just in an emergency. I want more of you. And, I am sorry I don’t say Thank you enough and that I don’t appreciate the gifts you have given me and all the ways you have been there for me. I loved winning that lotto ticket for $20 that was fun, So, Thank you for that. And, I know you always show up in an emergency. Thank you for that. And, Please forgive me too. I complain ALL THE TIME about you to whomever will listen. It is not nice. I will stop complaining and saying I am poor and broke and saying that you are never around anymore. I know I am not always the greatest partner. I hate your business partners and talk bad about them too-sorry. It is not your fault. I am just jealous. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So much love and gratitude for all the gifts you have given me throughout my entire life and for all the ways you support me that I don’t even realize- I appreciate you. Love, Me. PS: Let’s hang out soon xoxox (*notice ho’oponopono and magic gratitude in action*)
I started flirting with money. I started noticing money- first, in other people. I started being happy for people with their money. I was HAPPY for them. When I saw someone with a nice car – I’d Say Hey, Money. I love that car. I want one too. How Can I get a car like that? Show me!! And we’d laugh at the silliness of it. But it was FUN. I would see a house I could not in a million years logically afford and I’d get my flirty voice and say “Hey, Honey look at THAT dream house! On a LAKE! Can I get a house like that? Show me!! Giggles, again. We started playing and having FUN together. It was nice.
I started having gratitude for the money I DID have! I would get a paycheck and I would say HEY WOW! THANKS FOR THE MONEY, HONEY! THANK YOU for the money to PAY THIS BILL! Thank you for the money to pay my rent! Thank you money for the spare cash to buy this coffee! Hey Money, Thanks for this money to pay that bill- because it feels great to say PAID IN FULL. WOOO-HOOOO! I would even do a little happy dance to show how happy I was! (Money is a sucker for happy dancing and all signs of JOY). And, as for the bills I could not pay, Flirty voice: “Hey, Money Honey, I got this huge bill. Thanks for the money to pay it! I’ll put it here in this drawer – can you work on that for me?! THANKS SWEETIE, wink-wink!” And when the money did come. I would write THANK YOU MONEY! On the bill and do another happy dance. In other words, celebrate your WINS. Have gratitude for what you do have!
I started noticing the gifts Money was sending me! Remember money is energy; it works in subtle ways. That free cup of coffee at work? That dollar bill crumpled up in the dryer? That raffle you won? That free food at work where you didn’t have to buy lunch? That shirt your friend gives you? That free bookcase on the side of the road that you totally needed? Those are GIFTS- make sure you say THANK YOU MONEY-HONEY-SWEETIE: I LOVE MY GIFTS! The more you notice the gifts, the more you will get!!
I started treating myself! Think date night where you are romancing YOU. Money loves gifts and presents. Caution – You have to have the $$ to actually PAY for it and DO NOT PUT IT ON CREDIT CARD. Money loves CASH. Pay Cash. Feel the transaction and the surge of Joy it brings to spend money on yourself. Remember theTV show Parks & Recreation? TREAT YO’ SELF is an awesome mantra. Just make sure that when you do, you acknowledge it as a GIFT and be Thankful for it! Start small: A fancy tea or coffee while out, A bouquet of flowers for your kitchen table, A fancy soap, perfume or cologne that makes you feel irresistible, New curtains, Candles, A trip to a museum, a new outfit, take-out from your favorite restaurant, A fancy Night out for dinner and a movie. Just Do not go overboard. Feel how lucky you are and love every moment of splurging on you- YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Now that things are getting better with money –
Write a Thank You Card to Money. Mail the letter to yourself (yes, waste the stamp!) and really read it; Sit down; Light a Candle. Focus on nothing but the letter. And as you read it- feel it. And, Feel The Joy of giving and receiving the flow of money. Hang up your Thank You Card where you can see it and Feel the GRATITUDE.
And, repeat!
Don’t stop!
Money loves action and motivation! Keep the momentum going. Careful of your thoughts and words. Only speak highly of money and money in your life. No Trash Talking, No Complaining, No Jealousy. Money is Energy, Energy is Vibration, the best vibration and most powerful is JOY and Money loves it. So have fun with this, be playful, flirty, and vibrant. And ALWAYS Have Gratitude!