Who Do You Think You Are? “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.“I don’t much care where—” said Alice.“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.“—so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.” —Chapter 6, Pig and Pepper

You are divine, everything you need to heal and change your life is in you now. I heard that many times before I got it. First I understood it on a logical level, then a spiritual level, and finally on a physical level. Now, I live it. You can too. It takes time, but sometimes all you need is a small shift in perception. I am here to help guide you to your own place of knowing. Every moment in your life: up, down, bad, good and otherwise- they count. Do you keep asking – where is my path? What am I supposed to do next? What is my divine plan? Well, What if, dear friend, you have always been on the path? What if you have never been lost? What if it all leads you to here and now? Because, my friend, it does- Life is not a straight series of choices like a ladder- it is a spirally jumble hub-ub of un-numbered connect the dots. Every action you take small or large is a dot. Sometimes they connect right away sometimes it takes years to see why this choice led to that one. But, they do connect, this dot will lead to that dot and that to the next. I imagine when we awaken we finally get to see the majesty of the whole vision we created. A masterpiece of this lifetime. I’m still working on my masterpiece- I can’t wait to see where they all lead. And, I know this- every dot counts. But I know this. Once I connected to my inner self and grounded myself in reality and started to shift my perception, my focus and my direction I began to see real results. I went from being so in debt that I could not get a $500 loan and having creditors calling me day and night; to being financially abundant, with time and money to spend freely on those I love with unlimited bounty. I went from not having food in my fridge and going to local charities for donations to being able to being able to eat at the most expensive restaurants, shop at organic stores and donate food to charities. I went from not being able to afford gas in my car to being able to travel the world. I was able to realize and achieve lifetime dreams that I thought I had let go of because they manifested in ways I could not have ever imagined. I can see the magic of reality. The beauty of life and how powerful I am in creating this life. When I look back now, I am amazed at how far I have come…LIFE is Beautiful! Well…it should be…and the time has come…Are you feeling like you are an awesome, amazing person who has a lot to give without an outlet? Are you struggling to make ends meet and sick of the same old lessons over and over? I want to help you find your passion and divine path NOW. You are divine and You deserve to live your highest expression of that life in the NOW! YOU CAN DO IT! Who am I? I am an actor, director, improviser, event planner, producer, channel, healer, teacher, artist, entrepreneur and Mother. I am an excellent communicator. I have a knack for sales. I have a very high social IQ. I can do just about anything I put my mind to. A Jill of all trades if you will. I am visual. I am spiritual. I am motivated by goals and success. I like recognition and appreciation. A simple thank you and an honest compliment will have me eating out of our hand. I have empathy for others. I live in gratitude. I love the under-dog. I am short and curvy and a bit on the sassy side. I love my hair. I adore color. Others see me as extroverted but, I have an introverted side, that knows how to act and when to turn on the pizazz. I can also be awkward and shy. I like to talk to people but I also like to be alone. I make friends fast. People like me but I tend to not want to be around others all the time. I am a homebody. I love my children. I love all children. I am very childlike in nature. But I am wise. I love elderly people because they are fierce and honest and don’t have time to play games. I see every side to every story. I have a few precious friends that I am loyal to forever but I have a hard time making time for the people I love because I like to be quiet alone and reading a book, luckily people that love me understand that. I am forgiving but, I can hold a grudge too. I am kind. But I can be mean too, I have an angry streak, sometimes I scare myself with how intense my emotions can be. The news makes me sad because all I see is love in it and the news wants us to see the worst out there. I am a lot of things. But above all, I am human. We all don’t always fit into neat little brands do we? I bet you don’t either. We are all walking contradictions. I bet you are a whole lot more than what you say you are. I spent years studying acting, directing, comedy and Improv in NYC and likewise, years following a divine path, theology, spirituality and healing. I never thought the two connected until I almost passed away – choking on a salmon bone. Salmon, coincidentally, in the Celtic and Druid traditions, is a symbol of attaining (or striving to attain) wisdom. Most people think near death experiences have to be a gunshot or a drowning…something big and messy. But, no matter how they happen…messy or not, they are are real. It can be a small moment washing dishes when you just realize something deeply intuitive about yourself. Near death experiences are intended to be a wake up call. I stopped eating meat for 6 months thinking that was what “it” meant. My body did not like that and I was at the Doctors with low vitamin and zinc deficiency. Doctors advice? Eat a steak. So now what did “it” mean? I soon saw some light…washing dishes I realized this – I needed to wake up and breathe more. I needed to be impeccable with my word, and actions, and soul. I was angry about my life and my choices. I was deep in regret and cover-up. I needed to face my shadows. I needed to follow my bliss. But what was my bliss? I saw how everything was connected and how life is a journey and every breath is a blessing. And, trust me, having been in an experience where breathing is not an option – you see how every breath is a blessing! We often forget what a blessing it is to simply breath in each and every moment. In our hardest, most stressful moments the gift we have been given is that of breath. But I still did not know what I was “here”to do or what the blessings of these breaths meant and I thought that I had to find something bigger than me to address that. I thought I was lost. Turns out, I was just begging to find myself. I started with being conscious of each breath. I used to smoke cigarettes in college and realized that the reason why they are so alluring is the aspect of breathing. Deep inhalations in and out that you can physically see. “Breaks” that gave you permission to breathe deeply. So while I did not smoke, I could breath. I started giving myself breaks to breathe deeply. To breath through that moment of stress and anger, and release the fear and worry. I had been doing readings and angelic, spirit healing since I was very young – but only for friends. Since that little salmon bone reminded me that every breath is a blessing it came to my attention that I am in fact a healer. I just did not understand how I was supposed to heal others when my own life seemed so chaotic. I was meant to help others though my talents; But, that is where I was lost. I had spent my youth chasing a dream to be an actress. It was a bit of an obsession. And the spiritual books and gurus out there all make it sound so easy. Positive thoughts, clear plans, vision boards, Law of Attraction. It was mine if I wanted it. And boy did I want it. So why the heck wasn’t I getting it? I just could not imagine why I had such a big dream and how I could not realize it. I was a plan making, journaling. mediating, vision board master. I had crystals and charms and was doing everything right. I worked hard. I believed it was mine. I saw it, I felt it, I had gratitude for it before it happened. But, it never came. Always just shy. In the right place at the right time, for someone else. I felt like a failure both creatively, professionally and spiritually. I was angry, jealous and bitter. I was lucky enough to still be surrounded by actors, artists and the theater- just not good enough to do it myself. So why have these talents and these dreams if they lead to nothing? Perhaps I was looking at closed door instead or searching for open windows and I needed to shift my perspective. As a young child I had a recurring nightmare of a beautiful woman sitting in a royal chamber brushing her hair and she brushed her hair. The hair started falling out. I watched in the mirror as this beautiful queen became an ugly monster literally dying and rotting in front of me. It was April of 2019 and I was leaving a” job” that had meant more to me then the world. It was a private school that my children attended and I taught there in exchange for tuition. There was arts, theater, rolling woods and a dream campus for my happy children to explore the world. The problem was that tuition was more than I made in a year and I had two children. Again I used all my magick to make it happen here, I twisted the will of the universe so my children could be here. I sacrificed everything and my kind husband let me lead the way. It was a place where I thought I had friends and family. A community that loved me. But, we were not thriving. I was not thriving. I was not buying essentials, deodorant, feminne products, clothes, I was ignoring my financial responsibilities. I kept thinking Law of Attraction and my superior will would divinely mean everything would work out. Our bills were not getting paid. We were going into collection and it was getting more and more difficult to have food in the fridge. I couldn’t cut anymore from the budget. My husband and I were starting to argue. I am an actor, so while we looked great from the outside looking in, we were broken on the inside. I was heartbroken. My Mother was a Jehova Witness who was disfellowshipped when I was young. She was broken too. When I was a young girl, my Mother told me “I don’t know who or What God is, I can’t help you find it. That is your job” and it was what led me down my spiritual life path. Which to me, seemed personal, not to be shared with others. It was my journey after all, why and what could talking about me do for others? As a child, I would go to friends houses Saturday nights so I could go to church with them. I went to Catholic churches, Baptist, Evangelical, Pentecostal, Synagogue, Wiccan circles, Hindi shrines. And I noticed one thing in all of them -the notion of “I AM”. All the greatest teachers came here to tell us how to live our best life now. How to connect and embody our divine self in the present moment. My whole life I have been thirst for wisdom. As my awakening dawns I see the next part of my path is to help others. It is my joy and honor to help you on your spiritual journey and to help you discover your divine “I AM”. And I noticed by choosing to go to this expensive private school I was unintentional recreating my Mother’s story of lack and loss. I put my notice in at the school in April of 2019. I cried so hard that night I threw up. Then my hair started falling out. It was a small patch at first, Then bigger and bigger. I had the book by Louise Hayes – you can heal your life and I looked up hair loss. Here is what Louise and Lisa say about it in the book …”A lack of security can also come after a huge shock: the loss of a beloved family member, an abrupt and painful move, or anything else that leaves you feeling disoriented – like a plant that’s been pulled up by its roots, or like being traumatically pulled from your home and sent to a foreign land. And science shows us that during these moments we can also lose our biological “roots” – our hair. When there is chaos between family members, there is an increased risk of hair loss (alopecia), not to mention psoriasis and other skin problems.” I remembered that dream I had as a child. And, I knew it was time for me to get rooted. I was literally falling apart. I had two choices. Fade away or change. The best way to do that was to focus on my emotions. To harness these feelings, these hurts, and instead of riding them like a wave- harness them into a better direction. Our emotional center is our root chakra, and it is all about being grounded and connected to the physical self. For far too long I had been in my spiritual fairy tale world, taking with angels and ignoring my physical bounty. I was chasing dreams and not living in reality. I went back to my childhood lessons and all of those church services I had attended. As an adult, all the spiritual gurus and books I had read in my quest for knowledge-what was the common theme? The common theme was ME. And I saw that I had choices. I had created this life breath by breath and it was time to breath something new into reality. One breath at a time. I thought about that who am I question. “ I AM”. It is powerful. We say it all the time. Think about it…. How are you today? I’m Ok. I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m bored. I’m good. Or..How do you respond? Next time someone asks you catch yourself. What did you just breath into reality. How did you respond? Some of my favorite spiritual and financial leaders have created empires just by changing the way they answer that question. Joel Olstein: I am victorious. Dave Ramsey: Better than I deserve. Chris Hogan: Focused but not finished. Start by thinking of a powerful response for that question. HOW ARE YOU?I am having a great day. I am healthy, wealthy and wise. Try it out. Try a bunch out. Find one that clicks. I AM________________________________________. But now, Let’s talk about who you are… “Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”—Chapter 5, Advice from a CaterpillarWho am I? Not an easy question, and the answer today may not be the same tonight or tomorrow. Because we are always evolving. Ask instead Who am I becoming? And each choice you make, ask this of yourself and choose the path that will lead you to the life/self you want to become. When I was 7- I was the youngest of 4 kids, a daughter who loved to be the center of attention and play dress-up; When I was 17- I was an actress, acting and staring in every play. Going to college and professionally following my dreams; When I was 27 – I was trying desperately to become “famous”, living in NYC, newly married and trying to pay the bills, I started selling favors and centerpieces at night and doing guerilla marketing traveling the country for add executives, all so I could audition during the day- or at least pretend I was. I was good at sales. I was soon promoted to customer service/ sales manager and while my acting career was fading fast I was using my skills to make money and train and hire a new group of sale staff; When I was 37- I was a Mom to young children just moved to New Hampshire for a better life, a big house and a large back yard. My children were my everything, but I was trying to find a new vision of myself. I became a teaching artist, spending time with my children during the day and teaching Improv and Theater to adults, and eventually going into schools as a teaching artist and leading workshops. I was acting in community theater and moonlighting at a local theaters in house management and marketing. I was broke. I was tired. I was sad. My children seemed to be my only reason to live. I got sick. I was depressed. Something had to change. I had a lot of dots but none of them seemed to connect. 10 plus years ago I wanted to learn about my chakras. So I started a chakra detox diet. The first week of root chakra intentions- I mapped out a vision of my future free from fear and doubt. One where I could afford to take my children on vacations and buy the luxuries of life I have long been denying myself as artist. Casting off the old and welcoming the new. The universe asked me- “what do you really want , Paige? because it is yours”. I had offers for little theater gigs and side jobs – things I used to invite in. But those opportunities are not enough and I am tired of the struggle. Upon meditation I realized those door were not the ones I wanted to open. I saw a new me. One who was powerful and abundant and a leader. While I will always be a creative person, a part of me had to admit, I am just not finding joy in it. So I closed those doors and turned them down. And, in response I was sent promotions and new paths. I got a promotion at work. Higher salary and potential commission. I was one of 4 offered a new trail blazing path with unlimited potential. All my little side jobs lead me here and added to the vision of my success. I was finally ready to pull it all together. All of my dots, all of the moments of my life, every breath, every choice, brought me to the next. They did not make sense because time is wibbly wobbly as Dr. Who likes to say. They could not come all easy peasy one after because I was here to learn the lessons and incorporate them into wisdom. I was led to the realization that I was a salesperson. And I had been running from that for a long time. But really I had always been a natural salesperson. I sold cookies in tins in elementary school to win the new big TV. And, won I did. I was an excellent actor because I was able to connect with people. I was able to listen and empathize As a spiritual healer I was able to see the wisdom in love. I knew that like a candle we all share our light. When I spoke to my clients and customers I was able to connect to them and love them. My light was able to shine on them. I was a chess piece for the divine, I had their highest interest and mine in my heart. I was sharing the divine light with Joy to everyone I came in contact with. It was the beginning of me pioneering a new vision of sales. One that combined my theater skills and training, of mirroring and listening actively with my spiritual desire to make the world a better place and my own physical need to be healthy, wealthy and free. I was finally ready. So, I ask you…. What Do you REALLY want? Because, My dear one, it is yours! Perceptions shift but a part of us always stays constant. At 40+ I look in the mirror and see that 9 year old, 19 year old and 39 year old just as clear as I see myself. I also see the 99 year old part of myself and I see her smiling at me. Age is an illusion, a shift in perception. We are all of these things and more. Don’t take advice from gurus and books,or moms and dads, they want what is best for themselves, they are giving you clues how it worked or did not work for themselves. Instead take the wisdom for yourself. Use this book as a guide to advise yourself. You are your own best guru! Only you know what works and what does not for you. You are so awesome and smart and you are the answer to all your own problems and you are the solution too!