With my Mothers passing beyond the veil I have been in deep prayer and meditation. I want to sit quietly and in awe, but my guides are being really insistent… I have to show up. My grief is a puzzle piece in my call to be of service as a spiritual teacher.I’ve been trying to find solace in this process. In 2021, my house was destroyed by a fire. I had to throw everything I owned out. It was painful, and I was in grief and mourning, but it was also beautiful once I surrendered to the great cosmic and divine flow of TRUST ‘live and let live’ – knowing that in each trauma lies a lesson. My guides were clear at that time “YOU CAN FOCUS ON THE DESTRUCTION OR THE REBIRTH” …. It was such wise advice and it has served me well on every crusis big and small since then. It is odd how this year has been flowing:At the start of the year, I created a course with each month as a theme: Jan; INTENTION Feb; SELF CARE March; ABUNDANCE April; REBIRTH. And so far, my guides have been exactly right. January – Intention: My dear friend and fellow healer @Britney and I started planning our business and supporing each other, promising to keep each other accountable and healed as we step into our spiritual leadership. We started the year off with an interview on intentions and a beautiful course on intentions, including ancestral clearing, gifts, and activations. Feb was self care: And , in my home we were all sick. I was taking care of everyone, sick myself, draging my body to work, and keeping the routine of life flowing: Not a lot of self care! I am pleased I kept to my morning routine and energetic hygene and got a pedicure once, but im not sure it was self care. It was survival mode peppered in with self care as a duty a box to check on a to-di list vs. really honoring my body and what it needed. MARCH theme was ABUNDANCE. March 3 was my mothers 80th bday. I had hoped to surprise her and go visit; Pop over as we were like to do because life is bbusy and hectic, and I hated making promises I couldn’t keep. It was so hard to get home. 2.5-3 hours away. It wasnt easy to go so I usually did not. so in my mind zi said we will try to go … but as the day arrived becausewe had been sick, we didn’t go. i just called. She was so happy: all of her 4 kids and some grandkids called. she was feeling loved. That was ABUNDANCE: its love. March wasn’t how I imagined. I was hoping for money and success and travel and fun stuff ( I did get some of that my husband got a +1 on a work travel trip to PR that I am sooo ooking forward to) but it came differently as is the spiritual way….March was spent living life as normal- my spiritual play : taking a shamic journeying class, working with Britney and holding space for my clients and initiates. And of course, life life : planning my sons bday, helping out with my daughters play, volunteering as a parent, working, and…. the lesson came in going back and forth to CT many times to see my mother in hospital. It was in hindsight a beautiful month of helping her transition beyond the veil. She is already connecting. I feel her. Life and death are all magical ✨️ I was with her on the 13th when she went to Windham hospital. It would be the last time we spoke. I sat quietly by her bedside on the 17th. I held a family constellation healing with Britney before I went. When I wasn’t there I was there energetically sending Reiki and working with her higher self in the quantum field. it was beautiful really. I was driving back and forth to CT more then I have – since 18 years old. and as I was driving I was anchoring in healing for the land, my ancestors and my family. This was ABUNDANCE- healing work and love and time with someone you love, especially when you know every breath matters. Holding space for them to aid their transition. I was with Mom on Tuesday the 26th when they took her breathing tube out. i k ew she wasn’t doing well… But, I went home because the 27th was my sons birthday. Because life is for celebration and love. I wanted to tuck him in for bed on his last night of being 10, to wake up, and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him. But I knew it was close to the end for Mom. I had, in many ways, said goodbye. But it’s never enough. Mom was been moved from critical care to hospice. Once they took the intubation tube out, she hadn’t been responsive. Her lungs filling up wth fluid. She had a DNR. We won’t reintubate her because she was in so much distress with it. And a tracheatomy woukd be cruel. My kids wanted to see Mia.(that’s what they call her) So, on Holy Thursday, we drove down. I feel it is good to say earthly goodbye if we can. Closure. In critical care where Mom had been all month kids we’re not even allowed (16 +), and she looked so sad scary with tubes. They knew it was goodbye. It was to be our earthly goodbye…we didn’t stay long. We read her stories and tucked her in. I prayed over her and blessed her. Mt last words to her was my goodnightprayer for my children- that she started with us as kids…The stars on high are shinning bright. You are surrounded by love and protected by the highest white light. Good night my darling Mama. I’ll see you in the morning ….✨️🙏We came home and went to Church. Good Friday she passed. when I found out I called my siblings then went outside… I lit a candle for mom outside at my alter sacred space. I sat and watched the stream flow by, listened to birds and watched spring time emerge. Mom loved the Spring. I called in support and praying for her soul. I started holding space for her and her transition to the astral city and heaven. It was nice being Catholic this season. These traditions are here to serve us. This season it meant so much more. Church was keeping me occupied. She is in a better place. I have to trust that. Good Friday; Saturday Vigil, Sunrise Service at Cathedral of The Pines, Mass as well. All helped me honor my Mothers soul during the 7 day grace period where her soul was tested, cleansed healed and purified. I called my Jewish friend I asked her How do I sit shiva? she sent the kiddash prayer and we talked about tradition. It helped. I adapted it of course, I used my spiritual tools in my spiritual tool kit to honor my grief and her soul. I called in Mother Mary and our ancestral line. I called in the angels, arch angels and seraphim. I used my shamanic tools to journey and rewrite our story…. I wrote our old story down, shred it, and released it. I buried it…. And now as we turn to Aprl and the eclipse on April 8th I feel ready to open my heart and step back into the world. This month theme is April REBIRTH. Mom is already connecting. I used to have this app Marco Polo with mom when the kids were little kindergarten, 2nd grade ish…. We stopped using it. She delayed her account. She must have made a new one just recently. I just got an email message from Marco Polo saying I had a new message. i knew it was Mom. I had to reinstall the app and remember passwords and when I got in…. It’s a video of Mom….her eyes then at the end just once saying Paige? Its beautiful. Energy does not die. It just moves…. we are so much more, then we realize…. if no one has told you today, YOU are amazing…. and you are loved…. on earth and in heaven by family, friends, angels, and more… seen and unseen…. more on this to come in the days and weeks to come…..I have been on an Intense spiritual journey my whole life. I have worked with and connected to spirit. I KNOW there is more…. I am hoping honored and humbled that I was able to play a role and help my Mom pass through the veil with grace and ease. I know she is with me. I ✨️ know. I look forward to REBIRTH… and the rest of this year. If you are still reading this and would like to work with me as a spiritual healer and teacher, it would be my joy to do so…..