“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” L.R. Knost

A part of me, a lost fragmented part of my soul, has awakened and reunited and come back on line. A whirlwind trip to NYC has been my first trip back to the city since I moved away in June 2012. 12 years. When I was in NY I was told I was too country, in NH I was told I was too city. I have felt lost for 12 years. A huge part of me never left 42nd and 8th, Playwrights Horizons and Theater Row. I realized I was still dimming my light in New Hampshire trying to be safe or some orger reason I am bot sure of. Walking through the city today my body was thrumming with a primal JOY. Art, theater, lights and authentic self. I was today’s year old when I realized I am not gonna dim my light or be what someone else imagines me to be ever again. Atvwoek today I surprised a few people just soeaking my truth. I do not need every one to like me. I am not confined to where I live in order to fit in.Iam loud and I am quiet. I am big and I am introspective. I am little sassy and shockingly enough love some well placed foul language.I have an odd sense of humor. I am theater girl and Mom and Healer and Artist and teacher all rolled into one. I am blessed to share my life with my kiddos. To introduce my daughter to the church in Stamford where she was born. To take my kiddos out to their first Broadway musical… a stunning fantastic brilliant show that took my breath away multiple times- with My BFF I hadn’t seen in forever. But we picked right up. Time apart is meaningless. Sisterhood by soul. I was able to show them where Daddy Joe and Mommy Paige worked in the city. Pre-kids. A life before them, a decade where Joe and Paige were going to late night comedy shows and dancing and working and thriving in the city that never sleeps. They got to see us as humans and we got to reconnect and recognize that lost part of self. To see those dreams again- those dreams we quietly stuffed away while we were in the thick of conceiving, birthing, nursing and raising our family. 12 years. I was just mom with a splash of theater and a hint of spiritual leadership. Today…. today…. all of me….. came home. And I am never letting go of that girl again. No matter how old I get. No matter what life’s throws at me…. I am all of this. Iam light. I will SHINE. My little Leo soul feels very happy! I am ready to shine y’all!