My meditation journey for Solstice. My male ancestral line showed up as white moth, female lineage was a brown long hair cat with black ears and paws. I am seeking happiness I tell my guide what do I need to know this Solstice? I am taking to a beautiful canoe on the beach illuminated by a full gorgeous moon. I lay down in the canoe under the moon and my guide pushes the canoe into the water. I float along looking up at the moon while Moth flutters in and out of view. An owl starts bringing green grass, flowers and twigs to the canoe. Building a nest around me. Weaving straw twigs and flowers. I am warm and safe. The canoe begins to scrape up against the shore. But I dont move. The journey is done but I stay in the canoe. Owl sits with me. Thunder strikes and the canoe falls apart around me. Only then do I sit up. Owl flies away. My nest of twigs and grass has become a shawl and the flowers a woven crown. I stand up barefoot on the sandy shore. I see moon. I hear Owl in the distance calling me. I follow the sounds of Owl. As my feet move from sand to field my shawl has grown with every step it covers the ground. Ever widening, spreading over the field like autumn leaves cloaking the earth with new cover. I hear and follow Owl. They are flying with talons out grabbing up a field mouse to eat and return to home to eat. I watch it. Observation in curiosity. Studying how to do it. Owl lands on a tree with the moon full behind them and turns their head to something someone behind. I sense something as well and begin to walk in that direction. It is the Yule King. In a crown of silver stars and a robe of sparkling diamond white. His robe is as vast and wide as mine but mine is gray and old like leaves decaying. His is white and glorious. He comes to mee and tells me grief has a hold on me. I tell him I am not sad about my mother that she is in a good place. He tells me I am grieving myself- who I was- because I am becoming someone new. He tells me it is safe to grieve. He kisses me gently and my whole body turns icy hot and in a blue light I shatter to become a blue owl. In the night sky I lift off and fly towards the full moon while snowflakes fill the air. I see a mouse and go in for the catch only to see it is s tiny version of me. But I keep going and scoop up this scared tiny version of me. I bring it back to my nest in the tree. The tiny me is cold and scared and tries to hide. But my own self gobbles it up. Not quite broken I experience the digesting like a hot swim through coals and rock. I emerge as owl skat. Not quite broken but not quite whole. A skeleton of self. I have to put myself back together bone by bone. As I do, I grow back in size. After I am complete I walk to the water to clean off. Owl is waiting for me with black clean linens to wear. I clean off and put on the clothes. Shirt pants and shawl. Fur lined, warm. Cat brings me a new canoe. I get in and owl sets me to the water. Moth leads the way while cat sleeps on my lap. At the waters edge I get out and see my clothes, linens and shawl glow as white as the Yule kings robe. Candles lead me to a lake house in the Forrest where my cat has a bed prepared for me ‘Sleep’ cat purrs. ‘Sleep’ moth whispers ‘Sleep’ my guides encourage. It’s okay to rest, to sleep, to trust, all is well they say. And so I sleep….ready for a rebirth. I’m safe. It’s only change.